Claudia's Weight Loss Journal

The Dax Program is almost over.  It’s hard to believe. But it’s true.

The husband is working a lot and starting to get sick. I’ve been immersed in trying to get my next book out. Truth be told, the drama and focus of the program has faded. And we are limping to the finish line.

More than anything, I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. Will I continue working out like this? Will I stay on the elimination diet?

I don’t know.

I’ve enjoyed the program, but it’s very intense. I don’t know how much longer I’m willing to do four workouts a day. I miss hot chocolate and long runs.

I feel so much better after this program, stronger, and more capable. I can see the fitness in every area of my life.

And, there are so many rules and changes, that I mostly felt like I was always doing something wrong. I was always either missing a workout or eating the wrong thing – a carb on a low carb day, or not enough carbs on a high carb day or starving on the fasting days.

I need to find a way to keep moving toward my final goals.  The first step is to finish the program strong.

I don’t really know what will happen after that.

Today is another day of fasting. After having fasted a couple times, we decided to make Sunday fasting a part of our usual week.  Yes, it’s hard for me to believe that I would EVER fast, let alone make it a part of my life.

But fasting seems to be interesting. Why?

I have a lot of food issues. I was hungry a lot as a child. In fact, most of the money I made when I was 11 years old went to buy food. Not fancy food or treats, just food. You see, I was a lot taller and generally bigger than my sisters. My mother felt that if she fed us all the same amount that was fair. The result was that my older sister was moridly obese and I was about 25 pounds under weight.

I also went without eating for two weeks the summer I transfer to UC Berkeley. These two weeks were massivly transformational for me.  One day, my roommate needed my food money to cover her rent. Two weeks later, I was a different person.

So food, or the lack of food, has always been a major issue in my life. I’m hoping that, by making fasting a part of my weekly life, I can overcome some of these food related issues simply through desentizing the feeling of being hungry.

We’ll see.

I’ll tell you that it’s been wicked hard. But hard’s never stopped me before.

I was reading Zen Habits and saw a link to some fat loss tips. This is a powerful article chalk full of great thoughts and advice.

AND it fits with Dax’s Meltdown.

My favorite? Avoid Grains from Mark Sisson at Mark’s Daily Apple<–this surprises me as I love toast and steel cut oats.

Here’s the advice:

“Cut out grains. This may sound crazy at first, but try going without them for a month – at the very least. For one thing, grains come preloaded with anti-nutrients, chemical defenses like gluten and lectins that are designed to dissuade animals from eating them by causing digestive issues and “leaky gut” syndrome. Grains are seeds, and if a plant’s seed is eaten and digested, it doesn’t get to propagate any new plants. Because reproduction is the ultimate goal of life, plants will do anything to ensure their seeds survive. They’re also packed full of carbs, which should also be minimized in a cutting, leaning-out phase. (Note: There is no requirement in human nutrition for carbs.) Consuming carbs stimulates insulin secretion, and insulin promotes fat storage. Too much insulin (read: from eating too many carbs at once) will reduce the sensitivity of your insulin receptors. Your pancreas, in turn, thinks you need even more insulin, and releases even more of it, and the cycle continues. To avoid this and really lean out, and if you really need the extra fuel, limit your carb intake to the immediately post-workout period, when your muscles are starving for glycogen and the glucose from the carbs will go straight to your muscles, instead of to your midsection. And when you do eat carbs, avoid grains and sugars; opt for starchy vegetables, like squash or sweet potatoes, instead.”

This makes so much sense to me. I wish I had known this before. I would really live differently.

Anyway, I thought I’d share some great tips from a great blog.

The results of every diet/exercise/weight loss study, every single one, is the same.

What’s the best workout program? The one you’ll actually do.

What’s the best diet program? The one you’ll stay on.

It’s been a wild month of what Dax called “his circus.” Wow, my body has transformed.

But will I stay on it?

I’m not sure. I will probably stay on some modified version. I don’t miss wheat, dairy, sugar or caffeine.  I’m Ok with the glycemic cycling. The fasting is very hard but doable for me.

But I’m not sure I can stick with four times a day exercise.  I might, but I’m not sure.

Have I done things 100%?

No. But I’m not a 100% kind of person. When I even think of doing anything someone says 100%, I remember the video tape of the Jonestown massacre. I was a child when it happened, but it left a strong and resonating impression on me.

I never drink anyone’s Kool aid. Thank you very much.

I have done the program to the best of my ability. That’s my 100%.

And I’m all right with that.

I’ll be interested what happens next.

The Meltdown program has brought up the paradox of choice for me over and over again. At every choice point, I can hear all of the well intentioned advice – low carb diets don’t work, slow cardio makes you fat, high carb diets don’t work, and on and on. Having run the Open Grove, I have been exposed to every diet and exercise thought and fad. Even among the people I learn from they say different things.

Although I’ve signed on the dotted line with the Meltdown program, and I am doing the Meltdown program, I am still making the choice, and remaking the choice, and remaking the choice – over and over and over again! It’s exhausting.

It reminds me of Barry Schwartz’s Ted talk about the Paradox of choice.

Now that there’s only 10 days left in the Meltdown, I realize that it comes down to ownership. I need to make the program my own in order to really achieve success. With 10 days left, I feel like my feet are finally under me. I’m ready to stop questioning and just do.

My plan is to continue to program next month. We’ll see how far I get without Dax’s encouragement or the group. If I make it my own, then I think I can really do it.

I’m only sorry it took me so long.

Yesterday was my first day fasting.  Now, the meltdown program involves not only cycling carbs, but adding in a day of fast. All of this is done while we are on a strict Elimination Diet, of course.

I’ve never been very good at fasting. I have a powerful hunger. My body hurts and my mind goes fuzzy. There are a couple cool things though. We fast from dinner to dinner, so I will never go to bed hungry. That’s a very good thing.

Rather than sit around contemplating how hungry I am, we decided to go snowshoeing.  We went out Guanella Pass to the Burning Bear trail. We snowshoed for a couple hours and had a great time! The best thing? By the time we got home, there was only a couple hours left before we could eat again.

I weighted myself this morning. I originally lost about 5 pounds. I’ve since gained back two. So for all the trouble of yesterday, the scale loss isn’t tremendous. However, my body is really transforming. We’ll see where we are when at the end.

“When someone is in great shape you automatically look at them differently. You think they have control over their lives. A strong body and a strong mind go hand in hand so you just assume they are intelligent. You assume that they are hard working and dedicated. You even look up to them or admire them. A great physique commands respect and admiration.”
- Jason Ferruggia

I’ve had this quote up on my wall for about three years. This is my reason for working out. This is my rationale for staying motivated to lose weight and gain my own personal respect.

Because I automatically look at myself differently. When I’m in shape, I feel like I have control over my life. I feel smarter, more hard working and dedicated. Maybe I even admire myself more.

This is the year I am finally going to get there!

This is the week that I am putting Learning to Stand to bed. That makes the 4 workouts a day + diet cycle fairly crazy. So far, I’ve been able to do fairly well, but it’s hard, really hard. I’m grateful, once again, that I’m doing this with the husband. He’s able to fill in some of the motivation gaps.

Still just one day at a time here.

Well hurray! I just got back from the back doctor and he said : “No surgery now.” Yippee!!

Because I’ve had these issues for a long time, they become my ‘baseline’, meaning that’s where I am and have been for a long time. If I experience an increase in pain or muscle weakness, then I should call him.  This is music to my ears.

The best part? He said, “By luck or fortune, it seems like you’ve done everything right.”

I can’t think of better news.

Along with our 3 Dax workouts a day, we also do one aerobic workout. This evening, we went out to one of Denver’s most wonderful open spaces, the Sand Creek Greenway on old Stapleton.

Rose had a wonderful time romping in the snow. We heard ducks and geese. We even heard coyotes playing with their kits. The stars were shone bright against the dark sky. Gorgeous night.

If we weren’t doing this program, we would never have gone out tonight. Stretching to do the workouts has encouraged us to stretch in all kinds of wonderful ways.

Cool.